Yesterday I found myself having a conversation with a friend in the preschool parking lot that went a little like this:
Laurel: "I just wish I was the type of mom that didn't yell."
Friend: "You had that type of morning too. I'm glad I'm not the only one."
(Then we planned a lunch date.)
This conversation was the result of at least three events orchestrated by "Sweet Caroline" that truly put me over the edge:
1. Caroline putting deodorant all over the leather couch.
2. Caroline coloring with permanent marker all over my new sheets. (It was fun to watch Adam throw the marker off the balcony with disgust when he discovered the "sheet incident.")
And last, but not least,
3. Caroline moving a chair to the mantle in order to get down two angel figurines only to break them.
Food Stamps
While driving home from the preschool that morning I was thinking about what a horrible week I was having when I got a phone call from my good friend Rebecca. Her call made me realize that things could always be worse.
Rebecca just recently moved to another city close by. This city is known for being-what is the word- "posh." For example, the moms do all their make-up and put on high heels just to drop the kids off at school. When driving through the area I've seen many a women in a Mercedes convertible with a toy dog on her lap. (I'm sure I'm just describing the extreme here and I realize there are some normal folk there too.) Paris Hilton owns land there too -JK-. Regardless, there seems to be a little more pressure in this community to be looking your best.
Anyhow, Rebecca had been having a very stressful week. Having just moved into their new home everything that could go wrong did. No gas for hot water, the moving company messing up their furniture, the phone company messing up their computer and phone lines, etc.... Needless to say Rebecca looked stressed out, hadn't had been able to take more than a two second shower, and was probably wearing her workout clothes. Her big mistake was walking into the grocery store like this.
As she was checking out she read the screen on the debit/credit card reader. It said, "select food type." (Something had to be pushed by someone for this to come up.)
"Select food type? What does that mean?" Rebecca stated.
"That is for your food stamps." Replied the clerk.
"Food stamps. I'm not using food stamps. I'm using a credit card." Rebecca responded rather annoyed.
"Oh," said the apologetic clerk, "I just assumed, I'm sorry."
Granted Rebecca's daughter Lauren was probably wearing a swim suit with cowboy boots or something and her hair was probably all messed up, but come on, the clerk was assuming Rebecca was going to use food stamps. I doubt there are many people in her new city that use food stamps. Interesting, it's hard to believe this clerk could be so rude, but come on. (Maybe she accidentally pushed the food stamp button with out knowing.)
Needless to say that was the highlight of Rebecca's horrible week. It was almost as bad as the time I was checking out at Target and I was two weeks away from giving birth to Samantha. The clerk (some foreign women who spoke in an accent) told me that I must be having a baby girl because the baby was draining all the beauty from my face.
I've included a picture of Rebecca and her family, just so you know she cleans up well, and truly could not have looked that awful.
8 comments:
Now that is a funny story. She'll have to come back and do her shopping in the slums of Coppell next time she doesn't glam up. As for Caroline, I like her. That girl is money.
Okay, that is hilarious!! It's so good to hear stories like this. I love getting on your blog...it always makes me feel better about my horrible life in Kansas. Thank you so much for ALWAYS brightening my day.
Fun blog! it makes me happy! if looking like crap is against the law then put me in jail and throw away the key. you know you are in fine form when your kids come home from schooland say, "where did you go today?" "nowhere why?" "you look different today" "different how?" "different pretty". Ya, had showerd and put on clear lipgloss! ugh. em. ps. the link is great.
That is seriously the best story i have heard all month. I wish i could look as good (on a good day)as Rebecca on one of her bad days... I guess the stores in her town really weren't closed last time i was there, i think they were locking me out. Makes sense. Thanks for the laugh.
i just realized i said "Rebecca on one of her bad days" Sorry, that was a mistake, we all know those don't exist. Let's be honest, she always looks good. Hmmm...i'm just a little bit jealous:)Maybe the cashier had a cataract or something?...
Wow! That poor Rebecca lady. At least she doesn't have her housecleaner state that she has gone "loco". Ask Laurel to explain that inside joke. Also, I bet she hasn't had someone come up to her when her youngest was almost four and ask her when her baby was due, and of course she wasn't even prego. That incident was a real ego crusher, believe me. All I can say is counting your blessings might be a good idea at times like this. . . Especially when someone confuses you for a clerk at the local Hooters restaurant. (JK of course! I suppose that some of you bloggers might consider that a sincere compliment?!)
I was just thinking of Rebecca being singled out as po' white trash at the grocery store. And I think that she pull a little "Pretty Woman" magic on those clerks. She should go over dressed to the nines with plenty of fake Harry Winston jewelry on and a fabulous manicure and ATTITUDE! You guys could be stationed at various look out points and get photos.
We all would like her to experience her "Julia Roberts moment.
Just read this post...I was laughing forever! That was hilarious! Poor LeRebondra
Post a Comment